Dude: This is Agent Mike Jones from the Special Investigations Unit of the Internal Revenues Services calling for Mr. Smith. Is this you, please?
Me: Hi, Agent Mike.
Dude: Is this Mr. Smith, please?
Me: Even if it doesn’t please you.
Dude: Mr. Smith, this call is being monitored for your protection. Now do you have an attorney for legal matters such as this one I am telling you of now?
Dude: Okay, no problem. You may wish to consult an attorney, Mr. Smith, as because the Internal Revenues Services has determined that you are guilty of defrauding the government at this time and we are in the process of sending a police to your location to arrest you to court for these charges. Do you understand this, Mr. Smith?
Dude: Excuse please?
Dude: Mr. Smith, you are being charged with defrauding the government, which is serious crime with penalty of up to 50 years in jail. You have a chance to resolve this matter today before police come and take you to the courthouse. Are you prepared to resolve this matter today, now, sir?
Me: My name is “No”.
Dude: You are not going to resolve this matter, now?
Me: My sign is “No”.
Dude: I’m sorry? Police are on their way to your location right now…
Me: My number is “NO” – you need to let it go. Ooh, you need to let it go. BWA to the HA to the NO NO NO.