What the actual hell?  I have to annotate this one.



By John Luciew (credit where it is due.)

“Nudity being bad is a mere perception.” So says a 21-year-old nude model arrested earlier this month while posing outside a western Pennsylvania strip mall clad only in thigh-high black stockings and high-heel shoes – and nothing else.

The model, Chelsea Jane Guerra, of Indiana, Pa., is now speaking out to defend what she calls her “art” – and well as the handsome pay she gets from posing nude, which she says helps fund her tuition at a Pennsylvania university.

As this appears to include a commentary on the individual and the profession rather than the event, I have license to comment on the same here.  Note that John didn’t really cover this story as much as collect the work of other journalists to create content for pennlive.com.  That’s fine.  But, keep that in mind as the commentary becomes evident.

  1. The “art” and “what she calls ‘art’” Adding the quotes as though you’re speculating the validity of her claim is either naïve or condescending. Both reflect poorly on the quality of the article. Posing nude for painters, sculptors, photographers, movie makers, and in front of live audiences is an ancient and globally-recognized activity and – gasp – it does not even have to involve sex! It’s not all pornography!  Come on, John. You didn’t become a journalist without running into this in the wild.  Seriously?  You’ve never seen a painting of a naked woman?  You’ve never visited an art gallery?  You’ve never skimmed a copy of Playboy?  You’ve never heard of the world-recognized photographers who live in this area who actually photograph naked people?  Get out more, John.  You’ll find some amazing stories out there.
  2. “So says a s 21-year-old nude model” really sounds like an old man about to run kids off his lawn. “So says a small-market reporter who splices regional news stories into clickbait,” is what it comes across as.  She’s a model.  She poses nude.  It pays. If anything, the photographer didn’t do his job scheduling the event in the right place or time or a secure location.  Did you talk to him?  Did you find out anything about his history or if his work is hanging anywhere?  Is he a professional?  That’s okay…let’s focus on the “nude model” because scolding her draws more readers. 
  3. “only in…”“- and nothing else.” – We get it, John.  She was nekkid.  Boobs and cootch front’n center. Feeders and breeder out on show.  She was found without coverage for her naughty bits.  Just…you already used “only” but the “and nothing else” is a nice hook.  Drop the “only”. It will make you look less like a kid returning from a gilly show after seeing your first side boob.

Did that sound demeaning, disrespectful, and condescending to someone I don’t know personally?  Does it sound like I am judging a person as a whole and not an action?  GOOD. You see where the fuck I’m going with this.

Guerra, who was arrested last week outside the Miracle Mile Shopping Center in Monroeville, Pa., and charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct, had this to say to KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh:

  1. I can’t belittle you for enhancing coverage by cribbing the work of other journalists. It stands on its own.

“A lot of people are saying it was obscene for me to be nude in public, which I do understand,” Guerra said. “My intent was not to blatantly be nude and offend people or children at the Miracle Mile. It was for the intention of making art.”

  1. Okay, this sounds like a shoot badly planned or executed. I’m not going to say that a photog and model should be allowed to pose nude in front of children.  Mistakes were made, laws were broken, and consequences earned.  The photog had controlled substances on him.  He’s going to have even more consequences.  Guerra’s “intent” is immaterial when it results in exposing minors to random nude women in public.  Regardless of how you feel about it, there are laws to follow that demonstrate one’s professionalism and respect for the craft and society.  That’s the beginning and end of this story.  Worlds that shouldn’t merge, merged for a brief instant and our sometimes-puritanical laws resulting from our culture’s fear of the human form have to be considered.  If it were a horde of bloody, broken-boned zombie children chewing flesh, it might have been a hootenanny. But our society tolerates death and gore more than the pristine state of the human body.  Sad, but true. 
  2. What she is saying, and clearly, is that she’s wasn’t there to draw a crowd or upset people. She was on a job.  It went south.  She’s not saying that she’s entitled to put her tits in a child’s face.  She’s saying to the people who call what she does for a living ‘obscene’.

But Guerra’s nude art isn’t free. She has been posing in the altogether since turning 18, and the money she earns goes toward her college tuition, she tells WTAE-TV in a video interview.

  1. “But Luciew’s news isn’t posted free. He’s been cobbling together clickbait since graduating college. Yes, he gets PAID for this and some of those payments go to his student loan debt. Think about that.  Luciew finds news stories, revises them, posts them for others to read…and he makes a LIVING off that.”  (Doesn’t sound judge-y, does it?)
  2. “Posing in the altogether” – sigh.

Guerra attends Indiana University of Pennsylvania and was set to make $300 for her nude photo shoot at the strip mall.

That is the amount of a check made out to cash for a “model fee” that was found in Guerra’s car at the time of her arrest.

  1. “Model fee” – I guess I can let this slide if it is quoting words found on the check. But it comes across like ‘art’ as though it questions what it’s REALLY for… ‘model fee (wink-wink, yeah…she’s a whoooar).’  So, she charges $300 for, what, an hour’s work? Two?  She is paid by check which means she likely pays taxes on it (you can assume not if it fits your narrative.)  AND she goes to college.  Is this her only job?  Did you ask, John?  I didn’t watch the video.  Maybe another journalist asked her the question.  Probably not.

The photographer, Michael Keith Warnock, 64, of Pittsburgh, allegedly told police he hired Guerra to pose after placing an ad on Craigslist for a nude model.

He has since been charged with criminal solicitation, criminal conspiracy, disorderly conduct and two counts of possession of controlled substances.

  1. Dude lost control of the situation, clearly. I’m not entirely sure about the practice of using Craigslist to find exotic modeling work. Sounds dangerous but I’m told people do it and it’s fine so long as you’re careful. 
  2. Dude had drugs on him.  But let’s keep talking about this nylon-sporting hussy who dares speak up for her vocation….

But Guerra still defends the nude photo shoot, which reportedly took place in front of some children’s stores at the mall around 11 a.m. on a busy Saturday:

“We decided to do it on the sidewalks right in front of the storefronts because we were trying to achieve an urbanized setting in our photography,” Guerra told KDKA.

  1. See, THIS is the story. It’s about two people being stupid and doing a nude shoot in public in front of minors.
  2. Splicing in a defense of her art just makes it sound like Guerra was saying they DESERVE to shoot naked pics in front of children – a claim never make explicit in the reporting.   It is so tone deaf regarding the creation of art that the story feels it has to explain (sheepishly, with no real depth or objectivity) nude photographs to people, like this stuff is only produced in dirty warehouses in Romania by convicted human slavers and mobsters.

Alas, police, summoned by an offended shopper, crashed the shoot soon thereafter.

  1. “alas,” John?  Seriously?

They told Guerra to put her clothes back on, then proceeded to arrest both the under-clothed model and her photographer.

  1. Told NUDE MODEL to put her clothes on, then arrested the NUDE MODEL and HER photographer.  Also: NUDE MODEL.  Alas. In her altogether. under-clothed. in the buff. undies-free. NUDE MODEL HERE! MOAR CLICKS! 

Their cases are pending.

  1. I wait holding my breath for your coverage of that hearing.