It Just Kinda Snuck Up: Our Cancer Year

(With apologies to Harvey and Joyce Pekar)

Facebook reminded me that today is the one year anniversary of my first trip to the local Emergency Department to figure out what was wrong with me and my butt.

At the time, I really thought it was just hemorrhoids, maybe a fissure. At the time, the ED was packed with masked people waiting to be seem, some in a state of great pain covered in blankets and rolled into a corner to wait for a bed that was hours from becoming available. At the time, I thought my situation wasn’t worthy of keeping these people from their turn.

My wife and I stayed 12 hours in the waiting room before they took us back for a quick look-see up my bum. They didn’t see anything in their superficial exam. They didn’t go more than a fingertip deep. By the time I got back into an exam room, I hadn’t developed any new symptoms or demonstrated any of the things that brought me into the hospital in the first place. I was given the option to wait there for several more hours and check into a room for more examinations and tests or go home. If the symptoms returned, I was instructed to come back.

Victory in Freedonia: Restoring the Extra “E”!

Fredonia was a kingdom so poor they could not afford the second “E” in their name. In liberating the nation, I restored that second “E”.

I post on Reddit every so often. Every so often, I’m serious. Someone posted to the colorectal cancer subreddit that they had just been diagnosed with colon cancer and was terrified. They were asking for reassurances. So I offered the following:

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You will feel more confident once you know exactly what you’re dealing with. Once your cancer is “staged” it will guide your oncologist and surgical team to a course of treatment. It will likely be a combination of radiation, chemotherapy, and then surgery to remove the mass.

Knowledge is power. This thing will knock you on your butt and give you some rough days and weeks, but you will find strength inside yourself you never believed you had. You will find friends and allies everywhere. Look into local organizations that will help you with legal, financial, transportation, and psychological support. They exist. Look into them now or have a caregiver (partner, friend, family) start lining up resources. Your job will be to beat this.

The Battle for Freedonia: An Update

I was encouraged by family and friends to keep a diary of my cancer journey. Aside from updates on my daily progress on Facebook, I really haven’t had much to say in this forum. But there is good news.

As of 1/10/2023, I am unofficially cancer-free.

I say “unofficially” because I am on the second wave of chemotherapy which is designed to eliminate any pesky cancer cells left over after my Halloween surgery to remove 16 inches of my colon and rectum. Pathology reports indicate no cancer in the samples taken from my body.

To quote my surgeon, “We got the bitch.”

The second wave of chemo is also the result of having to stop my first wave four weeks short due to nearly dying. Twice.

Bars, Beaches, Dungeons, Dragons

I think this is the only time in my life when I will compare Dungeons & Dragons to Jimmy Buffett.

Growing up, Jimmy (we called him “Jimmy” then) was this tropical troubadour who sang about leaving the mundane life of the 9-to-5 and bumming out on the ocean, sailing away to discover new shores, drinking to excess, and generally living a life of fantasy away from the burdens of adulthood. He was a beach bum in Bermuda shorts and flipflops wasting away again in the magical realm called Margaritaville, eating cheeseburgers in paradise, running from the Jamaican police in a plane full of weed (allegedly), and telling us all how much better life is when we change our latitude and attitude. The first CD box set I ever bought was titled “Boats, Beaches, Bars, & Ballads” which summed up pretty much everything Jimmy sang about.

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Season 4: HG World presents: Patient Xero: The Diary of Jill Woodbine

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-shqnm-12ab69a

Aspiring journalist Jill Woodbine finds herself fending off the undead as she seeks both shelter and the source of a global zombie outbreak. Seeking shelter in a House and Garden warehouse (HG World), Jill finds herself in a potentially more hostile environment and it gets worse as she inches closer to the truth about the outbreak.

Season 3: HG World presents: The End Was Foretold!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ddbrm-12ab685

Days after their escape from Slim Shimmers, one of our heroes makes their way to HG World for an unknown reason. She seeks shelter and is granted access to the dark and sinister place that the refuge has become.

Season 2: HG World Presents: The Googies Are Coming!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-k4v3d-12ab66b

Inside and outside HG World, things are changing. The undead are no longer just mindless eaters. A cult of humans is nurturing the dead, nurturing their intelligence, and improving their abilities. The UNNDD team undergoes a risky mission to unveil the truth at the core of the Zombie Uprising. *This was originally written as a supplement and diverges from the style and format of the main series.

Season 1: HG World presents Season 1 (complete): Welcome to Wishwell!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-k6pmp-12ab661

A small town in northwestern Pennsylvania nestled in a secure valley prepares for the inevitable arrival of the undead. Some are still in denial, others preparing to fight, and others see an opportunity to profit from the outbreak. Most of Wishwell is hiding in a House & Garden Warehouse (HG World) which is stranger and more sinister than most of its refugees know.

Fund Raiser _ Cancer Financial Support

https://gofund.me/cac78f8b